Grief is Weird
Any one who has lost someone or dealt with grief in some form or another, can verify that grief and the process of grief, makes no sense. There are thousands of books and podcasts on grief and how to deal with it. They talk about the 5 stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They talk about allowing yourself to feel, to deal with it "healthily", to pick yourself up and keep moving.